精选经典英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子痛

下面，美文故事小编为大家精选了一些经典英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子痛，欢迎大家阅读欣赏。

1

A man went to the doctor and explained, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."

一个人跑到医生那里，说：“医生，我碰哪儿，哪儿疼。”

The doctor asked, "What do you mean?"

医生问，“什么意思?”

The man said, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, the pain is excruciating."

那个人说：“我摸我的肩膀的时候，真的很疼。摸膝盖的时候——哎呀!摸我的前额，真的是钻心的疼。”

The doctor said, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"

医生说：“我知道是什么问题了——你的手指受伤了。”

2

One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."

一天，小女孩从学校回到家里，对妈妈说：妈妈，今天在学校里我因为一件我没有做的事情而受到惩罚。

The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?"

妈妈激动地说：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老师好好谈一谈，对了，你没有做过的那件事是什么?

The little girl replied, "My homework."

小女孩回答说：我的家庭作业。

3

An absent-minded husband

心不在焉的丈夫

I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination. At last he succeeded.

我陪丈夫一起出差，他带着他的笔记本电脑。到了机场出口处时， 有位检查员要他打开包。但是包锁上了，机场工作人员耐心地等着我那窘迫的丈夫设法回想起暗锁的密码。最后他终于想起来了。

“Why are you so nervous?"I asked him.

”你为什么那么紧张呢?“我问他。

"The numbers are the date of our annivorsary.my husband confessed.

“密码是我们的结婚纪念日。”他承认道”

4

"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”

“这么说，你又要请一天假，”老师怒气冲冲地对他的学生汤姆说，“我倒想知道你这次找什么借口。你已经请了四次假说去参加你爷爷的葬礼。”

Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”

汤姆回答说:“今天是我奶奶再次举行婚礼。”