笑得停不下来的英语笑话10则

导语：一个人的聪明才智会在幽默的谈吐中闪光，并且会深深吸引他人。下面，美文故事小编给大家收集整理了笑得停不下来的英语笑话10则，增加幽默细胞，聪明的你一定会成为闪光点。

1、 "Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.

One remarked to the other, ""Windy, ain‘t it?""

""No,"" the second man replied, ""It‘s Thursday.""

And the third man chimed in, ""So am I. Let‘s have a coke."""

2、 "For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn.

Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn‘t help but comment, ""The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents.""

......"

3、 "Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.

He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, ""Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.""

......"

4、 You Know You Live In San Francisco When ...

Your co-worker tells you s/he have 8 body piercings but none are visible.

When someone says TENDERLOIN - you don‘t think of steak. You think of danger.

You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.

......

5、 "Q: Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in paris?

A: He was declared to be in Seine.

6、Fred was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door. ""God bless Mommy, and God bless Daddy, and please make Calais the capital of France."" ""Fred,"" said his father, ""why do you want Calais to be the capital of France?"" ""Because that‘s what I wrote in my geography test!""

......"

7、 Q: Did you hear about the new American Express Card they are issuing in Red China?

A: You never leave home.

8、 "OLD BASKETBALL players never die, they just go on dribbling

OLD BEEKEEpERS never die, they just buzz off

OLD BIKERS never die, but they‘re hard on tires

OLD BIOLOGISTS never die, they just ferment away

OLD BLONDES never fade, they just dye away

OLD BOOKKEEpERS never die, they just lose their figures

......"

9、 "OLD CANNERS never die, they are preserved

OLD CARS never die, they just get run into the ground

OLD CASHIERS never die, they just check out

OLD CHAUFFEURS never die, they just lose their drive

OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just do it inorganically

OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just fail to react

......"

10、 "OLD CREDIT CARDS never die, they just expire

OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get bowled over

OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get smashed for six

OLD DANCERS never die, they just step away

OLD DAREDEVILS never die, they just get discouraged

OLD DEANS never die, they just lose their faculties

......"