跳转到主要内容

英语笑话

笑岔气的英语笑话

导语:爱笑的人,运气总不会太差,那么你喜欢笑么?这里小编收集整理了笑岔气的英语笑话,一起来看看吧!说不定能点中你的笑穴哦!

1 不要告诉她

Two twins went to the kindergarten.“Who's the elder and who's the younger one?” asked a nurse. One of them winked and said,“Elder brother,don't tell her.”

两个双胞胎走进幼儿园。“你们两个谁大谁小?”保育员问。其中的一个眨了眨眼睛说,“哥哥,不要告诉她。”

  2 童言无忌

笑出眼泪的英语笑话精选

导语:一个人的聪明才智会在幽默的谈吐中闪光,并且会深深吸引他人。下面,美文故事小编YJ给大家收集整理了笑出眼泪的英语笑话精选,增加幽默细胞,聪明的你一定会成为闪光点。

1 How much English can you speak?

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."

The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

中文翻译

"法官先生,我的当事人被指控偷窃,这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约,几乎不认路。而且,他只会说几个英语单词。"

令人喷饭的英语笑话有翻译

导语:你知道学些笑话的好处么?当第一次见面的时候,总是有不知道该说什么的尴尬,这时候你就需要一些笑话,来缓解一下气氛呢,这里小编为你收集整理了令人喷饭的英语笑话有翻译,希望能对你有所帮助哈!

1 TOM'S EXCUSE

Teacher:Tom,why are you late for school every day?

Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go

Slow".

汤姆的借口

老师:汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到?

汤姆:我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着:"学校----慢行."

2 One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition——If I am a manager.

All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.

经典的英语笑话精选

导语:笑话来源于生活,却又可以让我们的生多些欢乐、开心,现在,美文故事小编YJ家整理了经典的英语笑话精选,一起来开心爆笑下。

1、某男,粗通英文,至使馆,有表要填,有一栏是sex。

该男思之久已,毅然下笔:“Once a week“。

签证官观后暴笑,曰:“This item should be filled in with male or female。“

该男顿时赧颜,思之,填下“female“,官楞之,曰:“Shouldn’t it be male?“

男急释曰:“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female。”

2、多年前,一个英文不怎么样的男人到美国出差,很向往自由女神像,特意打听了管理处电话,接着打车前往。

他的士司机说:“Where is the free woman?”

司机看看他:“Hey guy, here's America, nothing is free。”

男人着急了:“I know there''s a famous free woman, I have the phone number. It's sex sex sex two sex one free(6662613)!”

美文故事幽默英语笑话精选

导语:经常讲一些笑话,不仅能给自己到来快乐,还能感染他人,这里美文故事小编收集整理了幽默英语笑话精选,一起来看看吧!

1 Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room.

"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago."

"Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?"

"To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."

中文翻译:

一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室。

"大夫!"他说,"帮帮我!一个月前我吞了一分硬币!"

"天哪,"大夫说,"早干嘛去了?你当时怎么不来看?"

"实话告诉您吧,大夫,"穷人说,"我当时还不缺钱!"

英语幽默笑话带翻译5则

导语:经常讲一些笑话,不仅能给自己到来快乐,还能感染他人,这里小编收集整理了英语幽默笑话带翻译5则,一起来看看吧!

1 肚里就不会长虫了!

A father was trying to teach his son the evils of alcohol.

He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the

water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.

"All right, son," asked the father, "What does that show you?"

"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."

爆笑英语笑话6则

导语“笑话中也蕴含着智慧,通过英文笑话学习英语也是一件好事,今天小编就为大家整理了6则爆笑英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!

1 “S-A-L-E.(处理品)”

About two weeks before our fifth anniversary, my husband ased me what I would like for a gift. I told him I wanted something impractical1 and romantic.

On our anniversary, he presented me with a lovely gold bracelet2. "A little four-letter word made me get this for you," he said softly.

"Oh, how sweet," I whispered. "L-O-V-E?"

"No," he replied. "S-A-L-E."

我们结婚五周年前大约两周时,我丈夫问我喜欢什么礼物。我告诉他我要那些没有实用价值却又富于浪漫色彩的。

在我们的周年纪念日那天,他向我展示了一副可爱的金手镯。“一个小小的四字词,让我为你买了这个。”他温和地说。

笑得停不下来的英语笑话

导语:一个人的聪明才智会在幽默的谈吐中闪光,并且会深深吸引他人。下面,美文故事小编YJ给大家收集整理了笑得停不下来的英语笑话,增加幽默细胞,聪明的你一定会成为闪光点。

1. Navajo Message For The Moon

纳瓦伙族人给月球的讯息

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training. One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew, who were walking among the rocks.

在美国国家航天局准备阿波罗航天计划时,他们让宇航员们去亚利桑那州纳瓦伙族保留区进行训练。某天,一位纳瓦伙族老人和他儿子遇见正在岩石间穿行的航空工作人员。

The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people:

十分有趣的英语小笑话

导语:会讲笑话的人都是有幽默感的人,有幽默感的人患上抑郁症的可能性就大为减少,接下来一起来看看小编收集的十分有趣的英语小笑话,看看你的幽默指数吧!

1 漂亮的结婚礼物

we attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. we look forward to using it soon.

我们参加了一个熟人的儿子的婚礼。由于我们都不认识那个年轻人和他的新娘,所以我们决定送给他们一个实用的全家礼----一个灭火器。很明显,这对新人大批量制作了他们的感谢信,因为我们收到了一张卡片,上面写着:“非常感谢您的漂亮的结婚礼物,我们期待着不久就用到它。”

校园英文笑话精选

导语:学外语的过程中总会闹出一些无伤大雅的笑话,可以拿来博大家一乐,也未尝不是一件好事,今天小编就为大家整理了校园英文笑话精选,一起来笑一笑吧!

英语笑话(一)

老师在黑板上写了一句:Time is money.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。”

小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?

老师说:Go ahead.

小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?

老师说:Go ahead.

小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?

小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!

英语笑话(二)

某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am hongtao liu,外宾曰:我TM还是方片七呢!

英语笑话(三)

江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。外宾一见到江青,立刻拍马屁道:"Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻,江青心花怒 放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。