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英语笑话

爆笑英语小笑话集锦

导语:幽默,是智力过剩的表现,笑话就是它完美的表达。今天小编为大家准备了爆笑英语小笑话集锦,欢迎阅读!

爆笑英语小笑话集锦(一)

1 I'm Trying to Stop It

"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"

"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."

“孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?”

“没有,老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进,一个耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面。”

2 “I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”

最新英语笑话20字

导语:生活是个大染缸,有悲苦有欢乐,大家都厌恶悲痛而亲近欢乐,接下来小编就为大家整理了最新英语笑话20字,希望能为大家带来一丝欢乐。

最新英语笑话20字(一)

1 Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. 钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡。

2 One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃。

3 Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡。

4 Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个。

5 Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸福不是永久的嘛。

swap partners for sex

A married couple on the farm are visited by an alien couple. The alien couple asked the human couple if they would like to swap partners for sex.

They agree, the human woman and alien man are together. She says, "You have a small penis!"

The alien man replies, "pull my ears!"

So she pulls his ears and his penis becomes larger. She is astonished and has the best sex of her life.

When the human couple come back together, she asked him how was it.

He replies, "It was great, but my ears are just killing me!"

美文故事英语幽默笑话大全

导语:笑话蕴含着生活的智慧,不只逗笑我们也会让我们思考很多,今天美文故事小编就为大家带来了英语幽默笑话大全,欢迎阅读!

美文故事英语幽默笑话(一)

1 A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

译文: 医生懂得多

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

爆笑英语冷笑话6则

导语:人生在世,最重要的就是要快乐,快乐的源泉往往来源于生活,生活也充满了无穷无尽的欢乐,诸如一个笑话也许就是你茶余饭后的消遣。小编特意为大家整理了爆笑英语冷笑话6则,大家开心开心。

爆笑英语冷笑话6则

1 Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.

Johnny: It's there, sir.

Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?

Sammy: Johnny, sir.

老师: 约翰尼,在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么地方。

约翰尼: 先生,在这儿。

老师: 对了。萨默,你来回答是谁发现了澳大利亚?

萨默: 先生,是约翰尼。

2 Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"

John: "What do you think it is, sir?"

Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"

中国式幽默英语笑话

导语:生活是个大染缸,有悲苦有欢乐,大家都厌恶悲痛而亲近欢乐,接下来小编就为大家整理了中国式幽默英语笑话,希望能为大家带来一丝欢乐。

  中国式幽默英语笑话

1. poor light egg穷光蛋

2. if you tiger me ,i will mountain you如果你唬我我就煽你

3. you don""""t bird me,I don""""t bird you你不鸟我我也不鸟你

4. full clear ten big cool punishment满清十大酷刑

5. love his mother who who who爱他妈谁谁谁

6. KILL ONE POLICE HUNDRED杀一警百

7. i s h i t love you我便爱上了你

8. banana fish相交于

9. f u c k do system操作系统

10. horse horse tiger tiger马马虎虎

11. fish yes于是

12. your grandma""""s legs你奶奶个腿

13. King eight egg***

爆笑英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子

导语:你身边真正的朋友,跟你美丑没多大关系,跟你有钱没钱没多大关系,下面,美文故事小编给大家收集整理了爆笑英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子,一起来学学幽默,收集好人缘吧!

爆笑英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子

1 律师、宝马和胳膊

一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。

“警察同志,看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说。

“你们律师真是物质至上,我很不舒服!”警察反驳说,“你这么关心你可恶的宝马,你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。”

律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀,“天哪,我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

超搞笑中国式幽默英语笑话

导语:幽默,是智力过剩的表现,笑话就是它完美的表达。今天小编为大家准备了超搞笑中国式幽默英语笑话,欢迎阅读参考!

  超搞笑中国式幽默英语笑话

1. your grandma""""s bear你奶奶个熊

2. yellow fly red黄飞鸿

3. red face know to me红颜知己

4. American Chinese not enough美中不足

5. pig wood wolf house bee!珠慕朗玛峰

6. You really have two down sons你真有两下子

7. round son egg原子弹

8. chicken gun ice机枪兵

9. water sex poplar flower水性杨花

10. How are you? 怎么是你?

11. How old are you? 怎么老是你?

中国式幽默英语笑话爆笑

导语:万事万物都有其对立面,有痛苦就有欢乐,欢乐自然也少不了生活中的笑话。下面美文故事小编就为大家整理了中国式幽默英语笑话爆笑,希望对大家有所帮助,欢迎阅读!

中国式幽默英语笑话爆笑

1 dog day""""s狗日的

2 good good study,day day up好好学习天天向上

3 No Mao ze dong ,no new china没有毛没有新中国

4 go a head! 去个头!

5 People mountain peole sea!人山人海

6 give you some color see see!!给你点颜色看看

7 no three no four 不三不四

8 no money no women no good(哈,这是谁说的)

9 we two who and who?我们俩谁跟谁

10 go and look!走着瞧