英语笑话
讲个全世界最搞笑的笑话
美文故事小编收集整理了讲个全世界最搞笑的笑话，希望你能喜欢，更多笑话请关注美文故事网冷笑话、爆笑笑话，幽默笑话，十万个冷笑话栏目!
10.昨天中午有个男同事外出，没把手机带走。他老婆不停地打电话来。午睡的女同事被吵烦了，拿过手机大吼:“我们在睡觉,你烦不烦!?”结果，那位男同事今天到现在都没来上班!
9.下午肚子饿，看见同事桌上有瓶酸奶，想都没想就喝了，一会女同事来了大叫：“我的洗面奶怎么不见了?108块啊!!”
哥没说话，只是默默地走向厕所，一顿抠嗓子，老难受了，把东西拼命的吐，直到吐出酸水，好不容易吐的差不多了，眼泪叭嚓滴回到座位上时，
女同事抱着1个瓶子说：“吓死我了，洗面奶滚到桌子下了，我的酸奶怎么又不见了呢?”
哥心里直骂：“你祖母个熊滴，喝你点酸奶，把人往死里整!”
8.有位大爷去人民银行取钱，直接走到窗口，保安过来说：“大爷，按号。”
大爷：“啥?”
保安：“按号。”
大爷心想，不愧是大银行呀，取个钱还要暗号，于是低声对保安说：“天王盖地虎。”
保安无奈地帮老爷子按出一张排队票。
老爷子心想：“吓死我了，居然被我蒙对了!!?
7.一漂亮女同事，她老公给她送午饭，没说话放下就走了。
神级搞笑的英语笑话
导语：一个人的聪明才智会在幽默的谈吐中闪光，并且会深深吸引他人。下面，美文故事小编YJ给大家收集整理了神级搞笑的英语笑话，增加幽默细胞，聪明的你一定会成为闪光点。
1、. The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?
A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.
鱼网
你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。 小女孩回答道。
2、The New TeacherGeorge comes from school on the first of September.
George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.
趣味小词典欢乐无极限
美文故事小编收集整理了趣味小词典欢乐无极限，希望你能喜欢，更多笑话请关注美文故事网冷笑话、爆笑笑话，幽默笑话，十万个冷笑话栏目!
一、小写字母之间的幽默饥讽1、c对e说：我早已对你敞开了心扉，可为什么你心里还一直装着别人。
2、j对z说：瞧你那熊样，一天到晚只会卑躬屈膝，要我嫁给你，除非太阳从西边出来。
3、m对n说：怎么样，光棍的日子不好过吧，赶紧找个人得了。
4、b对d说：长眼睛的人都看得出来，咱俩在一起就是门当户对、天生一对。
5、l对h说：虽然你家负担很重，但是我不在乎这些，谁让我爱上了呢!
6、g对y说：我胖是胖了点，可是我勤劳，不像你，只会张大嘴巴等着天上掉馅饼。
7、k对x说：就算你身上的刺再多十倍，也不能阻止我追求你的脚步。
8、a对o说：知道我为什么能当老大吗?那是因为我头上有保护桑
9、v对w说：我也要像你一样，找一个最爱的、深爱的、相爱的、亲爱的人来告别单身。
10、i对u说：I love you!
二、趣味词典,汉字拆开来解释1、路：“各”人都有“足”，路靠自己去走。
2、赶：说“干”就干，必然“走”在别人前头。
英语笑话 怕老婆的丈夫
导读：古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。更多英语笑话尽在美文故事笑话网。
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives.He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely.
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.
英语笑话带翻译 现代生活
导读：两个老朋友分别多年之后又见面了，很快就开始谈起各自丈夫的缺点。我们结婚十五年了，一个妇女说道，每天晚饭后，我丈夫总要抱怨饭菜。更多英语笑话尽在美文故事笑话网。
Two old friends got together after many years and soon fell to discussing their husbands' faults.
We've been married fifteen years, one woman said, and every night after dinner my husband always complains about the food.
How terrible! exclaimed the other. Does it bother you?
Why should it bother me? her friend replied. if he can't only stand his own cooking?
两个老朋友分别多年之后又见面了，很快就开始谈起各自丈夫的缺点。
我们结婚十五年了，一个妇女说道，每天晚饭后，我丈夫总要抱怨饭菜。
真可恶!另一个惊呼道。难道你不烦吗?
长篇英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."更多长篇英语笑话尽在美文故事笑话网。
最丑的孩子?A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：“额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
女士走到车厢后面坐下，感到很愤怒。她对旁边的男士说：“司机刚刚羞辱了我。”男士回应说：“你快上去斥责他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”
英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子400字
一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”更多英语笑话尽在美文故事笑话网。
瞎子的判断Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he
stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It's a wonder that the dog is so long.
从前有个瞎子。一天，他正在行路时踩着了一只正在睡觉的狗的脑袋，狗汪汪汪地叫了一阵。这人又往前走，这回踩着的是另外一只狗的尾巴，狗又汪汪汪地叫起来。瞎子以为还是那条狗，惊诧地说：奇怪，这只狗可真够长的。
爆笑英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子视频大全
A shoplifter |was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter.更多英语笑话尽在美文故事笑话网。
英语笑话六则
导语：以下整理的冷笑话一般都超出常规的思维，不符合逻辑和生活实际，让人听了觉得一愣；虽然有些冷笑话挺好玩，但无论怎样，这种笑话听了也不会像那些听“正常”笑话后一样开怀大笑。更多英语笑话尽在美文故事笑话网。
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!
新西兰的气候老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?
马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。
老师：错了。
马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。
My Sister's Fingers
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
英语笑话，下雨
老天爷下雨促使了为我们所食用的水果和蔬菜的生长，同样也促使牛羊所吃的青草的生长。更多英语笑话尽在美文故事笑话网。
下雨A small boy and his father were having a walk in the country when it suddenly began to rain very hard. They did not have their umbrella with them， and there was nowhere to hide from the rain, so they were soon very wet, and the small boy did not feel very happy.
For a long time while they were walking home through the rain, the boy was thinking. Then at last he turned to his father and said to him, Why does it rain, Father? It isn't very nice, is it?