英语笑话幽默段子
笑一笑,十年少,多笑笑有利于自己的身心健康,今天我们就一起来看看英语笑话幽默段子吧!
英语笑话幽默段子(一)
A Duel
Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing.
It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. His father asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said Pete, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."
"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."
"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"
决斗
小彼得从操场回到家时,鼻子流血、黑眼圈及被撕破了衣服。
显然他刚与人恶斗了一番,而且打输了。父亲问儿子发生了什么事。“噢,爸爸,彼得说,我向拉里挑起决斗,而且我让他挑选武器。”
“嗯,”父亲说,“这看上去很公平!”
“我知道,但我没想到他选择了他姐姐!”
英语笑话幽默段子(二)
The Tiger is Coming!
When a Tiger comes Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on.
The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."
老虎来了
两个男人正在穿过丛林,突然,一只老虎出现在远处,向他们冲来。当中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”跑鞋,开始穿上。
另一个人惊奇地看着他说,“你以为穿上跑鞋就可以跑得过老虎吗?” 他的朋友回答道:“我不用跑得过它,我只要跑得比你快就行了。
英语笑话幽默段子(三)
Friend for Dinner
Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.
What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!
I know all that.
Then why did you invite a friend for supper?
Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.
请朋友吃饭
“亲爱的,”丈夫对妻子说:“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。”
“什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的,我很久没有买过东西回来了,所有的碗碟都是脏的,还有,我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。”
“这些我全都知道。”
“那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?”
“因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。”
英语笑话幽默段子相关笑话
笑出腹肌冷笑话段子:当年我们在上数学课,一个同学老乡来找他,那同学出去以后,我们数学老师愤愤地说:以后上课时间不得接客!更多精彩笑话尽在美文故事笑话栏目,欢迎欣赏!笑出腹肌冷笑话段子(一)1、…
人生如麻将:一见钟情叫天胡,自由恋爱叫平胡,找情人叫暗杠,勾引别人老公叫抢杠,和别人老公生孩子叫杠上开花,一个情人叫单吊,没有情人叫相公!1、手机响了,一看是我兄弟打来的,立马接听。电话那头:“喂,…
穿超短裙内搭安全裤的姑娘很不友好:既要享受超短裙的性感设计,又不愿承担性感的社会责任。笑话是幽默的载体,一个成功的笑话能流传千古,听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜,拍掌叫好!…
NO.1对于买衣服,女人总能找到理由:1、觉得以前买的衣服过时了,现在穿出去特别丑。2、找不到能搭到一起的衣服,得再去买几件能搭的。3、买个高价点的衣服,能穿好几年呢NO.2我对一个朋友说道:“…
尺码淘宝上买的牛仔裤到了,穿上之后有点小,各种不舒服,跟卖家联系:“你这牛仔裤尺码有点小,硌得我蛋疼。”卖家说:“因为你JJ大啊。”现在这社会愿意说实话的人越来越少了,果断好评。…
NO.1男人出差回家后已深夜,想给老婆一个惊喜,于是脱光了进卧室打开灯,看到两双眼睛惊恐的看着他。原来老婆一个人睡觉害怕,把丈母娘叫来一起睡。NO.2年近70的外公放下带来的礼,把我拉到一边,…
讲段子我昨晚去夜店潇洒,突然看一个带鸭舌帽的小丫头很眼熟,一看,不是我闺女吗?看他要跑我过去就说,小丫头片子,站住大半夜不睡觉跑来这里玩,我闺女紧张的回:“爹,你认错人了。。。。”讲段子女:“…
晚饭后,爸爸:“儿子,咱们出去散步去。”爸爸旁边的小狗摇摇尾巴跟了出去,儿子却一动也未动。奶奶见此状,问:“乖孙子,你爸叫你散步去,你怎么不动啊。”儿子:“他说的是他的狗儿子,不是我。”奶奶话音未落…
1、晚上,我妈突然要去我外婆家有点事,我爸就说:“我陪你去吧。”我妈问:“为什么?”我爸说:“这么晚了,怕遇上坏人。”我妈像是抓住把柄了说:“你不是说我长的这个样子,坏人都不敢碰我吗?”…
1和老婆异地恋……第一次带老婆回家,我妈在车站接我们,坐火车坐太久了,她腿坐麻了,下车后走路一瘸一拐的。我妈就问我:“怎么回事,怎么找了个瘸子!”我说:拐来的,半路不愿意,打瘸的………