精选幽默英语笑话合集

笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古，听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜，拍掌叫好!生活需要笑话，今天我们就一起来看看精选幽默英语笑话合集吧!

精选幽默英语笑话合集(一)

About two weeks before our fifth anniversary, my husband ased me what I would like for a gift. I told him I wanted something impractical and romantic.

On our anniversary, he presented me with a lovely gold bracelet. "A little four-letter word made me get this for you," he said softly.

"Oh, how sweet," I whispered. "L-O-V-E?"

"No," he replied. "S-A-L-E."

我们结婚五周年前大约两周时，我丈夫问我喜欢什么礼物。我告诉他我要那些没有实用价值却又富于浪漫色彩的。

在我们的周年纪念日那天，他向我展示了一副可爱的金手镯。“一个小小的四字词，让我为你买了这个。”他温和地说。

“哦，多甜蜜。”我耳语他。“L-O-V-E(爱)?”

“不对，”他回答。“S-A-L-E.(处理品)”

精选幽默英语笑话合集(二)

In one epsiode of "Cheers", Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here it is, for your enjoyment:

"Well, you see Norm, it's like this...

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the lowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake6 of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

精选幽默英语笑话合集(三)

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde robbed a supermarket.

As they were stealing, a police officer walked in the store and saw what was happening.

He dashed toward them, but they were able to get away into the back of the store.

There, they found three sacks to hide in.

When the police officer checked there, he examined each sack.

He kicks the first bag, and the redhead says "meow" in a high voice.

The cop determines that it must only be a cat in that bag, and he moves on to the next.

When he kicks the second bag, the brunette says "woof" in a low voice.

The officer determines that it must only be a dog in that bag, so he moves on to the last bag.

He kicks the third bag, and the blonde shouts "potato" to the officer.