爆笑英语冷笑话6则

导语：人生在世，最重要的就是要快乐，快乐的源泉往往来源于生活，生活也充满了无穷无尽的欢乐，诸如一个笑话也许就是你茶余饭后的消遣。小编特意为大家整理了爆笑英语冷笑话6则，大家开心开心。

爆笑英语冷笑话6则

1 Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.

Johnny: It's there, sir.

Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?

Sammy: Johnny, sir.

老师: 约翰尼，在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么地方。

约翰尼: 先生，在这儿。

老师: 对了。萨默，你来回答是谁发现了澳大利亚?

萨默: 先生，是约翰尼。

2 Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"

John: "What do you think it is, sir?"

Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"

John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"

老师：“John，动词ring的过去分词是什么?”。

约翰：“你想它是什么呢”?

老师：“我不用想，我知道!”。

约翰：“我想我不知道”。

3 Teacher: Jack, why aren't you listening?

Jack: But, teacher, I'm listening.

Teacher: If you were listening, tell me what I said just now.

Jack: You said, "Jack, why aren't you listening?"

老师：杰克，你为什么不认真听课?

杰克：老师，我正在听课呀!

老师：如果你刚才在听课，那告诉我刚才我说的什么。

杰克：您说的是：“杰克，你为什么不认真听课?”

4 man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second."

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟。”

5 Restroom Use:Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom.There is now a strict 3 minute time limilt in the stalls.At the end of 3 minutes,an alarm will sound,the tollet paper roll will retract,the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.After your 2nd offense,your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board.

厕所使用规则：大家上厕所的时间太长，现在规定一次只能去三分钟。时间一到，厕纸会缩回，厕所门会打开，你将被拍下来。如果第二次违反规定，照片将被贴到公司公告栏。

6 A poor man entered a doctor’s consulting-room. He looked very unhappy.

“Doctor,” he said, “you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago.”

“Good heavens, man!” said the doctor. “Why have you waited so long? Why don’t you come to me on the day you swallowed it?”

“To tell you the truth, Doctor,” the poor man replied, “I didn’t need the money so badly then.”

一个穷人走进诊所。他满脸忧愁。

“大夫。”他说道：“您一定得帮帮我啊。大约在一个月前，我把一枚便士给吞进肚子里去了。”

“天哪!伙计。”大夫说道：“你怎么耽搁了这么久呢?你吞下它时怎么不来找我呢?”

穷人答道：“大夫，实话跟您说吧。当时我还并不急着用这钱呢!”