爆笑英语冷笑话

导语：爱笑的人，运气总不会太差，因为笑可以让人充满正能量，更能让自己面对挫折，勇往直前，这里美文故事小编收集整理了爆笑英语冷笑话，让你爆笑每一天。

　　1 My Sister's Fingers

Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.

Teacher: I don't see any bandages.

Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.

我妹妹的手指头

老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了?

凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。

老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀?

凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。

Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

Teacher: Wrong.

Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

新西兰的气候

老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?

马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。

老师：错了。

马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。

　　3 The plural Form of "Child"

Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?

Tom: Men.

Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?

Tom: Twins.

"孩子"的复数形式

老师：汤姆，‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?

汤姆：男人们。

老师：答得好。那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?

汤姆：双胞胎。

　　4 When Do People Talk Least?

Student A: When do people talk least?

Student B: In February.

Student A: Why?

Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.

人们什么时候说话最少?

学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?

学生乙：在二月。

学生甲：为什么呢?

学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。

　　5 All Except the Music

A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"

"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."

除了音乐

一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”

“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。”

　　6 The Reason of Being Late

Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?

Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.

迟到的原因

老　师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?

约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。