欢乐无限的英语笑话

导语：笑话来源于生活，却又可以让我们的生多些欢乐、开心，现在，美文故事小编为大家整理了欢乐无限的英语笑话，一起来开心爆笑下。

1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically1 impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.Irritated, the teacher reiterated2 that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

一个小女孩和她的老师正在谈论有关鲸鱼的事情。她的老师说：“一头鲸鱼从身体构造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一个人的。因为尽管鲸鱼是一种非常巨大的哺乳动物，可它的嗓子非常小。”那个小女孩说约拿(一位西伯来先知)就是被鲸鱼吞掉的。她的老师非常生气，她再次告诉小女孩说：“从身体构造角度来讲，鲸鱼是不可能吞掉一个人的。”那个小女孩说：“那等我到了天堂，就去问问约拿。”她的老师问：“那么，假如约拿下了地狱怎么办?”那个小女孩回答：“如果是那样的话，你就去问他。”

2 After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."

在将母亲下葬9个月后，当地殡仪馆的一个客户终于攒够了钱去买那副他早就相中的价值不菲的棺材了。他把母亲的棺材挖了出来，将尸体转移到了那副新的钢制棺材中。“这副棺材有什么特别?”，我问葬礼的承办人。他回答说，“这种棺材终生保修。

3 Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "

有一次，我收到一封感谢信，是一个我曾帮助过的朋友寄来的。信封内有五张彩票，都被刮过了，露出了数字。“非常感谢您的帮助，”信上写道，“作为礼物，我给您买了些彩票----真遗憾，您没中奖。”

4 A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最佳答案：“如果卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将救出哪一幅?”

The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

获奖的答案是：“最接近门口的那一幅。”

5 One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim.What happened? Did your father help you?"

一天，蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业，发现他全做对了。老师很高兴，同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说："蒂姆，你这次的作业全都做对了，怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?"

"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it allmyself," said Tim."

不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"

6 Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".

汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"