笑得停不下来的英语笑话

导语：一个人的聪明才智会在幽默的谈吐中闪光，并且会深深吸引他人。下面，美文故事小编YJ给大家收集整理了笑得停不下来的英语笑话，增加幽默细胞，聪明的你一定会成为闪光点。

纳瓦伙族人给月球的讯息

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training. One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew, who were walking among the rocks.

在美国国家航天局准备阿波罗航天计划时，他们让宇航员们去亚利桑那州纳瓦伙族保留区进行训练。某天，一位纳瓦伙族老人和他儿子遇见正在岩石间穿行的航空工作人员。

The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people:

老人问了航天局人员一个问题，但他只会说纳瓦伙族语，儿子帮他进行了翻译：

"What are these guys in the big suits doing?"

“这些穿着厚重衣服的家伙在干嘛?”

One of the astronauts said they were practicing for a trip to the moon. When his son relayed this comment, the Navajo elder got all excited and asked if it would be possible to give the astronauts a message to deliver to the moon.

一个宇航员说他们正为去月球进行训练。当儿子传达给老人后，老人非常兴奋地问道能否请宇航员们为他向月球传递一条讯息。

A NASA official said, "Why certainly!" and told an underling to get a tape recorder. The Navajo elder's comments were brief. The NASA official asked the son if he would translate what his father had said. But he refused.

航天局官员回答：“当然可以啦!”并吩咐下属拿来录音机。老人的留言非常简短，航天局官员问老人的儿子可否告诉他们老人说了什么，但他拒绝了。

Finally, an official government translator was summoned. The translator relayed the message:

最后，他们请来了一位政府翻译员，他转述道：

"Watch out for these fellows! They have come to steal your land."

“小心这些家伙!他们来抢你们的领土了。”

2. A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry, honked his horn .

"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by. "What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son.

"Back up two miles," replied the farmer.

一位农夫和他的儿子乘坐轻便马车来到一段窄路，他们遇到一个开车的人向相反的方向去。两个方向的两英里以内都没有地方可以使他们相擦而过。驾车人甚是着急，按响了喇叭。 “如果你不后退，”农夫说着撸起了袖子，“我可不喜欢我将不得不做的事。”司机吃惊不小，挂上倒挡，向后退了两英里，让轻便马车先过去。

“刚才在那儿你说过的你不喜欢要做的事是什么?”农夫的儿子问道。

“退后两英里，”农夫回答道。

A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"

再喂他几枚五分镍币

母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去，她立刻将他抱起，头朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了两枚一角的硬币，她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道： “你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币，可咳出两枚一角的硬币!我该怎么办呢?”孩子他爸大声回答道：“再喂他几枚镍币!”

A gentleman was invited for dinner. When he hurried there and sat down, he was happy to see a roast pig in front of his seat:"Not bad, I am next to the pig." But then he noticed the angry fat lady sitting next to him. He faked a smile and added: "Oh I am sorry, I meant the roasted one on the table."

烤乳猪

一位先生去赴宴迟到了，匆忙入座后，发现自己的座位正对着乳猪，于是大为高兴的说：“还不错，我坐在乳猪的旁边。”这时才发现身旁的一位胖女士正怒目相视，他忙陪笑改口到：“对不起，我说的是那只烤好的。”

5. One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

译文：

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?”“唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀!”