笑死人不偿命的英语笑话

笑话来源于生活，却又可以让我们的生多些欢乐、开心，现在，一起来开心爆笑下。

笑死人不偿命的英语笑话一：You May Feel A Little Prick

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands. The girl watches him and says, "You must be a dentist"

The guy, surprised, says "Yes ...how did you figure that out?"

The girl says, "Easy ... you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they were done, the girl says, "You must be a great dentist."

The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out?"

The girl says, "Easy... I didn't feel a thing!"

笑死人不偿命的英语笑话二：Confused Child

Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying that Johnny was having trouble telling the difference between boys and girls, andwould his mother please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this. So Johnny's mother takes him quietly by the hand upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.

"First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse",she said, so Johnny unbuttons her blouse and takes it off. "O.K., now take off my skirt", and he takes off her skirt. "Now take off my bra", which he does.

"And now, Johnny, please take off my panties". Johnny finishes removing these too.

His mother then says, "Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to schoolanymore!

笑死人不偿命的英语笑话三：Ugly Baby

A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby.

He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous child. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."

When his wife blushed, he became suspicious, and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?"

His wife confessed, "Not this time."

笑死人不偿命的英语笑话四：Making Fish Stix

One day a little boy walked in on his parents doing it and asked what they were doing. The parents' reply was that they were making fish sticks. So the little boy left it at that.

A few nights later the little boy walks in on them again, and this time he asks, "Are you making fish sticks again?" The parents both reply yes.

The boy remarks, "Well, mom, you have a little tartar sauce on your mouth.

笑死人不偿命的英语笑话五：First Operation

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

And the second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"