小学生英语笑话故事大全

爱笑的人，运气总不会太差，那么你喜欢笑么?这里小编收集整理了好些搞笑的xxx笑话，一起来看看吧!说不定能点中你的笑血哦!

小学生英语笑话故事【1】

"Madam," said the irate conductor to a totally incompetent woman cellist during rehearsal, "you have between your legs an instrument that could give pleasure to thousands…and all you seem able to do is scratch it."

Becky was on her deathbed, with her husband Jake at her side. He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face.Her pale lips moved. "Jake," she said.

"Hush," he quickly interrupted, "don't talk."

But she insisted. "Jake," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I must confess."

"There is nothing to confess," said the weeping Jake.

"It's all right. Everything's all right."

"No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Jake, that I have been unfaithful to you."

Jake stroked her hand. "Now, Becky, don't be concerned. I know all about it," he sobbed. "Why else would I poison you?"

一个妻子的临终忏悔

临终的Becky躺在床上，他的丈夫Jake守在她的旁边，握着她冰凉的手，泪流满面。

她苍白的嘴唇翕动着，“Jake,”她说。

“安静，”他快速地打断她,“别说话。”

但是她坚持，“Jake,”她用疲惫的声音说，“我不能不说话。我必须忏悔。”

“没有什么可忏悔的。”痛苦的Jake说。

“没关系。一切都很好。”

不，不。我必须在平静中死去。我必须忏悔，Jack,那就是我一直对你不忠。”

Jack抚摸着她的手说。“现在，Becky,别担心。我已经知道一切了。”他呜咽着，“要不我干嘛毒死你。”

小学生英语笑话故事【2】

A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"

母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去，她立刻将他抱起，头朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了两枚一角的硬币，她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道： “你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币，可咳出两枚一角的硬币!我该怎么办呢?”孩子他爸大声回答道：“再喂他几枚镍币!”

小学生英语笑话故事【3】

A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry, honked his horn .

"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by. "What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son.

"Back up two miles," replied the farmer.

一位农夫和他的儿子乘坐轻便马车来到一段窄路，他们遇到一个开车的人向相反的方向去。两个方向的两英里以内都没有地方可以使他们相擦而过。驾车人甚是着急，按响了喇叭。 “如果你不后退，”农夫说着撸起了袖子，“我可不喜欢我将不得不做的事。”司机吃惊不小，挂上倒挡，向后退了两英里，让轻便马车先过去。

“刚才在那儿你说过的你不喜欢要做的事是什么?”农夫的儿子问道。

“退后两英里，”农夫回答道。