关于英语的笑话

品读英语幽默故事精粹，让我们在那不一样的文字中，感受快乐的陪伴。其实，快乐就是这样简单，下面美文故事小编就为大家带来英语笑话故事精粹，欢迎大家阅读欣赏。

A teacher is telling his students, “The moon is very large. Several millions people can live there.”

And a boy laughs and says, “It must get crowded when it's a crescent moon.”

一位告诉学生：“月亮非常大，上面能住几百人。”

一个男孩笑着说：“当月亮变成月牙的时候，住在上面的人该多拥挤啊!”

Customer:Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee.It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of charge today.

今天美文故事小编就精选了一篇英语笑话故事，让你在开怀大笑的同时也了解英语文化、熟悉英语句型、记忆英语单词!

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

导读：古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。更多英语笑话尽在美文故事笑话网。

The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives.He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely.

Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.

导读：两个老朋友分别多年之后又见面了，很快就开始谈起各自丈夫的缺点。我们结婚十五年了，一个妇女说道，每天晚饭后，我丈夫总要抱怨饭菜。更多英语笑话尽在美文故事笑话网。

Two old friends got together after many years and soon fell to discussing their husbands' faults.

We've been married fifteen years, one woman said, and every night after dinner my husband always complains about the food.

How terrible! exclaimed the other. Does it bother you?

Why should it bother me? her friend replied. if he can't only stand his own cooking?

两个老朋友分别多年之后又见面了，很快就开始谈起各自丈夫的缺点。

我们结婚十五年了，一个妇女说道，每天晚饭后，我丈夫总要抱怨饭菜。

真可恶!另一个惊呼道。难道你不烦吗?

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."更多长篇英语笑话尽在美文故事笑话网。

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：“额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

女士走到车厢后面坐下，感到很愤怒。她对旁边的男士说：“司机刚刚羞辱了我。”男士回应说：“你快上去斥责他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”

一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”更多英语笑话尽在美文故事笑话网。

Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he

stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It's a wonder that the dog is so long.

从前有个瞎子。一天，他正在行路时踩着了一只正在睡觉的狗的脑袋，狗汪汪汪地叫了一阵。这人又往前走，这回踩着的是另外一只狗的尾巴，狗又汪汪汪地叫起来。瞎子以为还是那条狗，惊诧地说：奇怪，这只狗可真够长的。

A shoplifter |was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter.更多英语笑话尽在美文故事笑话网。

 导语：以下整理的冷笑话一般都超出常规的思维，不符合逻辑和生活实际，让人听了觉得一愣；虽然有些冷笑话挺好玩，但无论怎样，这种笑话听了也不会像那些听“正常”笑话后一样开怀大笑。更多英语笑话尽在美文故事笑话网。
 

Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

Teacher: Wrong.

Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?

马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。

老师：错了。

马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。

Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

老天爷下雨促使了为我们所食用的水果和蔬菜的生长，同样也促使牛羊所吃的青草的生长。更多英语笑话尽在美文故事笑话网。

A small boy and his father were having a walk in the country when it suddenly began to rain very hard. They did not have their umbrella with them， and there was nowhere to hide from the rain, so they were soon very wet, and the small boy did not feel very happy.

For a long time while they were walking home through the rain, the boy was thinking. Then at last he turned to his father and said to him, Why does it rain, Father? It isn't very nice, is it?

Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then.更多英语笑话尽在美文故事笑话网。

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from." 客人：“为什么你的狗狗坐在那儿老是看着我吃东西呢?”旅馆主人：“我不敢想象，除非是因为你拿了它经常用来吃东西的盘子了。”