英语小笑话精选5则

爱笑的人，运气总不会太差，因为笑可以让人充满正能量，更能让自己面对挫折，勇往直前，这里美文故事小编CJ美文故事小编CJ收集整理了英语小笑话精选5则，让你爆笑每一天。

"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”

“这么说，你又要请一天假，”老师怒气冲冲地对他的学生汤姆说，“我倒想知道你这次找什么借口。你已经请了四次假说去参加你爷爷的葬礼。”

Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”

汤姆回答说:“今天是我奶奶再次举行婚礼。”

2.Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom?老师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么?Tom: Men.汤姆:男人们。Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?

老师: 答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢?Tom : Twins.

汤姆: 双胞胎。

3.Little Pete came home from the playground with a bloody1 nose, black eye, and torn clothing.小彼得从操场回到家时，鼻子流血、黑眼圈及被撕破了衣服。It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. His father asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said Pete, "I challenged Larry to a duel2. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."

显然他刚与人恶斗了一番，而且打输了。父亲问儿子发生了什么事。“噢，爸爸，彼得说，我向拉里挑起决斗，而且我让他挑选武器。”"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."

“嗯，”父亲说，“这看上去很公平!”"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"

“我知道，但我没想到他选择了他姐姐!”

George comes from school on the first of September.

9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。

I didn't like her, Mother, because she said three and three were six and then she said two and four were six too.....

妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。

心不在焉的丈夫

I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination. At last he succeeded.

我陪丈夫一起出差，他带着他的笔记本电脑。到了机场出口处时， 有位检查员要他打开包。但是包锁上了，机场工作人员耐心地等着我那窘迫的丈夫设法回想起暗锁的密码。最后他终于想起来了。

“Why are you so nervous?"I asked him.

”你为什么那么紧张呢?“我问他。

"The numbers are the date of our annivorsary.my husband confessed.

“密码是我们的结婚纪念日。”他承认道”