搞笑英语笑话大全带翻译

总所周知，笑话是一种缓和气氛的好办法。小编在这里给大家分享搞笑英语笑话大全带翻译，走过路过不要错过啦!

搞笑英语笑话大全带翻译一：

This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent‘s witnesses.

One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.

“I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel.“There is no need for you to argue the point!”

“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness.

“There are not!” snapped the lawyer.

“Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife?”

这个故事讲的是一个咄咄逼人的辩护律师，他惯于尽量去恐吓对方的证人。

有一个证人有点倾向于在回答问题之前做冗长的解释。

“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’，”辩护律师怒喝道： “你没有必要就这个问题进行争论。”

“可是有些问题无法用‘是’或者‘不是’来回答。”这位证人温和地回敬他。

“不存在这样的问题!”律师厉声打断他。

“噢，”证人说：“那么请你回答这个问题：“你停止打你老婆了吗?”

搞笑英语笑话大全带翻译二：At Grandma's 在奶奶家过圣诞节

- Written by Tab Nettleton

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.

两个小男孩在奶奶家过平安夜，临睡前，两个小家伙跪在床边祷告，弟弟便扯开嗓子大喊出自己的愿望。

"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...

我希望收到一辆自行车...

I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...

还有一部任天堂游戏机....

I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."

还有新的录像机

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!"

小男孩的哥哥搓了搓他说道：“你干嘛祷告得这么大声，上帝又不是聋子”。弟弟回答到：“我知道上帝不是聋子，可是奶奶是啊”。

搞笑英语笑话大全带翻译三：

I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"

“孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?”

"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other, so I am trying to stop it."

“没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”

搞笑英语笑话大全带翻译四：A Nail Or A Fly?

钉子还是苍蝇?

An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor.

一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。

When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him anddecided to do him a favour.

一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。

So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.

于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。

Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adnslapped it with all his strength.

这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。

On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!

听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。

搞笑英语笑话大全带翻译五：Present for Girlfriend

送给女友的礼物

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.

在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。

The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it 'To my one and only love'. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."

那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。”