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十分有趣的英语小笑话

导语:会讲笑话的人都是有幽默感的人,有幽默感的人患上抑郁症的可能性就大为减少,接下来一起来看看小编收集的十分有趣的英语小笑话,看看你的幽默指数吧!

1 漂亮的结婚礼物

we attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. we look forward to using it soon.

我们参加了一个熟人的儿子的婚礼。由于我们都不认识那个年轻人和他的新娘,所以我们决定送给他们一个实用的全家礼----一个灭火器。很明显,这对新人大批量制作了他们的感谢信,因为我们收到了一张卡片,上面写着:“非常感谢您的漂亮的结婚礼物,我们期待着不久就用到它。”

2 drunk 醉酒

one day, a father and his little son were going home. at this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. now, he asked, "what's the meaning of the word 'drunk', dad?" "well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. if i regard the two policemen as four then i am drunk."

一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。”

"but, dad," the boy said, " there's only one policeman!"

“可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

3 真正便宜的东西

after being away on business, tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

做完生意回来后,提姆觉得应该给妻子带点什么礼物回去。

“how about some perfume?”he asked the cosmetics clerk. she showed him a $50.00 bottle.

“那些香水怎么卖啊?”他问卖化妆品的售货员。售货员给他展示了一支价值50美元的香水。

“that’s a bit much,”said tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

“看起来好像有点贵哦!”提姆说道。于是售货员又拿出一款30美元的香水。

“that’s still quite a bit,”tim complained.

“还是贵了点。”提姆抱怨道。

growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

售货员开始有点恼火了,就给提姆一瓶很小的香水,价值15美元。

“what i mean,”said tim, “is i’d like to see something really cheap.”

“我的意思是,”提姆说,“我想看看一些真正便宜的东西。”

the clerk handed him a mirror.

售货员听了后,递给了提姆一面镜子。

  4 没把头发全剪掉啊

miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. but this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. while miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.

麦尔斯有时在上班时间去理发馆理发,但这是违反办公室规定的:职员只能利用自己的时间理发。一天,正当麦尔斯理发时,经理碰巧也进来理发,而且就坐在他旁边。

"hello, miles," the manager said. "i see that you are having your hair cut in office time."

"你好,麦尔斯,"经理说。"我看到你在上班时间理发了。"

"yes, sir, i am," admitted miles calmly. "you see, sir, it grows in office time."

5 日落

father: this is the sunset my daughter painted. she studied painting abroad, you know.

父亲:这幅《日落》是我女儿画的,你知道,她曾在国外学过画画。

friend: ah, that accounts for it! i never saw a sunset like that in this country.

朋友:啊,怪不得!我在本国还从来没有见过这样的日落。

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