英语笑话带翻译大全笑破你的肚子

笑话大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。小编你挑选了英语笑话带翻译大全笑破你的肚子，希望你会喜欢，一起来欢乐笑笑啊!

On a rainy, miserable day, the funeral procession was climbing the steep hill to the cemetery, when suddenly the rear doors of the hearse broke open and the coffin slid out.

一个阴雨、悲惨的日子，有列送葬队伍正沿着陡峭的山路向墓地前进，这时突然间灵车的后门破开，棺材滑出车外。

To the horror of the mourners, the casket hurtled down the hill, scattering motorists and pedestrians. At tremendous speed it leaped onto the sidewalk and barreled into a drugstore. It crashed into the counter and the lid flew open

令哀悼者大感惊恐的是，棺材滑下山坡，冲散了汽车和行人，接着它以高速冲上人行道并滚进一家药房，最后棺材撞到了柜台里面，盖子则崩开了。

"For Heaven's sake," said the corpse to the astonished pharmacist, "give me something to stop this coffin. "

“看在老天的分上，”棺木中的尸体向惊魂未定的药剂师说道:“给我一点东西把棺材停止下来。”

我没有服药

A fellow who was rather slow on the uptake had been suffering from constipation, so the doctor provided him with some suppositories.

有位理解能力相当迟缓的老兄一直为便秘所苦，因此医生给他一些利肠的栓剂。

A week later, the patient came back to tell the doctor that his condition had not improved.

一星期后病人回来告诉医生，他的状况尚未改进。

"I'm amazed," said the doctor. " Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed for you?"

“我觉得好奇怪，”医生说。“你有没有采用我开给你的药方呢?”

"What do you think I've been doing, shoving it up my ass?"

“你以为我做什么呢?难道要我把它们都塞进屁股里吗?”

"What do you think I've been doing, shoving it up my ass?"

“你以为我做什么呢?难道要我把它们都塞进屁股里吗?”

用脸去敲钟

Quasimodo had just died, so the rector was looking for a new hunchback to ring the great bell of Notre Dame cathedral.But the first man who applied for the job was not only a hunchback, but armless as well.

钟楼怪人刚去世，因此教区的神父正在找一位驼背的人来敲巴黎圣母院的大钟。但是第一个去应征的不仅是驼背，而且连手也没有。

'Of course, I'd like to give you the job," said the priest,"but how will you manage it?" "Never fear," replied the dauntless paraplegic. "Just watch;! "

“当然，我愿意给你这个工作机会，”神父说道，“可是你怎么去敲钟呢?”“别怕，”勇敢的残疾者答道。“待会看了你就知道。”

The two men went up to the bell tower and there the applicant took a run at the great bell, striking it with his face.The effect was magnificent, and the hunchback repeated his performance several times. However, he soon became dizzy and at the next run, missed the bell completely and went hurtling out of the bell tower to crash to his death in the courtyard below.

两个人走上钟楼，应征者用脸撞那个大钟，响了好一阵子，效果良好。驼子又撞了几次。可是不久他就觉得头晕目眩，下一次竟然落了空，掉到钟塔外，跌死在下面的庭院里。

The priest rushed down to the crumpled body, over which a policeman was already standing. "Do you know this fellow's name?" asked the cop. "No, but his face certainly rings a bell!"

神父冲到跌得皱成一团的尸体之处，有个警察已经站在那里。"你知道这个家伙的名字吗"察问道。“不知道，但他的脸孔好熟喔!”

介词问题

A new student was just finding his way around Harvard University.

一位哈佛大学新生正在熟悉校园环境。

"Excuse me," he aske an upperclassman, "can you tell me where the library's at?"

“对不起，”他问一位高年级学长，“您能告诉我图书馆在哪里吗?”

"What appalling diction," sneered the older student. "I can't imagine how you could have been admitted to Harvard.

“好可怕的用字喔!”那名学长嘲弄他道。

Don' t you know better than to end a sentence with a preposition?"

"不知道你老弟是怎么获准进入哈佛的。难道你不知道介词不要放在一个句子后面吗?"

"OK. Can you tell me where the library's at, asshole?"

“好吧!你能告诉我图书馆在哪里吗，驴蛋?”