英语笑话笑破肚子

笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古，听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜，拍掌叫好!今天我们就一起来看看英语笑话笑破肚子吧!

英语笑话笑破肚子(一)

Once there was a scholar who was very poor，but was very much concerned with his reputation. One evening，a thief broke into the scholar’s house，but he could find nothing worth stealing. So he said，"What bad lucky Ihave hit upon a real beggars”Hearing this，the scholar fished out little money he had from his bed head，and went after the thief. He stopped the thief and whispered to him，"You come at a most inopportune time. Would you please make do with this little money2 But for Heaven’s sake don’t talk about it in front of anyone else.By all means leave me a little face，eh?”

从前有个读书人家里很穷，却很爱面子。一天晚上，小偷到他家来行窃，却没有东西值得一偷，就说:“晦气，我算碰到真正的穷鬼了!”读书人听见了，就从床头摸出仅有的几文钱，追上去拦住小偷，轻轻地说:“你来得真不巧。请将就些把这些钱拿去。不过在人家面前，你可千万不要随便说，给我留点面子啊。”

英语笑话笑破肚子(二)

In 2005 Japan made a new robot. It can take care of a child. The new robot is called iPapero. It weighs 13.2 pounds, and has a body of 15.2 by 10.3 and by 9.8 inches.

2005年，日本制造了一个新的机器人。它会照看小孩。这个新机器人叫做iPapero。它13.2磅重，身体是15.2×10.3×9.8英寸。

iPapero is a small robot, but it has many special skills. It can recognize and remember up to ten faces and use its eight separate electronic ears to understand human voices even in noisy situations. It also plays games with children when they are unhappy, or sing songs or ask quizzes to entertain the child. If the child is bored, iPapero will change new songs and quizzes so that it doesn't repeat itself. The robot babysitter even has a cell phone to call a parent when the child asks for his mother.

iPapero是个小机器人，但它有很多特殊的技能。它能识别和记忆多达十张脸，即使是在吵闹的情况下，它也能用它八只分开的电子耳朵听懂人的声音。当孩子们不高兴时，它还和他们玩游戏、唱歌或猜谜语让他们开心。如果孩子感到无聊了，他会换新的歌和谜语，这样就不会重复。这个照看小孩的机器人甚至还装有移动电话，当孩子找妈妈时，可以用它打电话给父母。

英语笑话笑破肚子(三)

A woman was dissatisfied with her next-door neighbor. She told her friend that the neighbor was a poor housekeeper, her house was not clean and her children were dirty. Then she complained that one was almost disgraced by living near such a neighbor.

"Just look," she said, "at those clothes and those sheets and pillow cases she has hung outside all with black streaks up and down."

Her friend stepped to the window, raised it and looked out. Then he said: "It seems the clothes are very clean. The streaks that you see are on your own window."

有个女人对他的隔壁邻居很不满意，跟她的朋友说这个邻居不是个好主妇，说她家里不干净，孩子们都脏。还抱怨说和这样的邻居住得这么近几乎是很不体面的。

她说：“你就看看吧，她挂在外面的那些衣服以及那些床单和枕头套，上上下下都有一些黑斑纹。”

她的朋友走到窗前去，推开窗子看了看外面，然后说：“那些衣服看来非常干净。你看到的那些斑纹都是你自己窗子上的。”