幽默英语笑话带中文

会讲笑话的人都是有幽默感的人，有幽默感的人患上抑郁症的可能性就大为减少，接下来一起来看看幽默英语笑话带中文，看看你的幽默指数吧!

幽默英语笑话带中文一：跳板

The cruise ship my friend was working on docked(停驻) at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank(跳板，踏板) as a passageway to the dock far below.The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70s appear at the top of the plank(厚木板，支架) . There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief. As she stepped down, she turned, looked back at the top of the plank and shouted, "It's okay, Mother, you can come down now."

幽默英语笑话带中文二：I work for 7up"!我可是在七喜公司工作呀

Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies.The nurse comes up to the first man and says,"Congratulations,you got twins." The man said "How strange,I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says,"Congratulations,you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm,strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally,the nurse comes up to the third man and says

"Congratulations,you got twins x2." Man is happy and says,"Ironic,I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place,cursing God and banging his head on the wall.They asked him what's wrong and he answered,"What's wrong?I work for 7up"!

四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"

幽默英语笑话带中文三：蛋糕

Dick was seven years old,and his sister,Catherine,was five.One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

The children played for an hour,and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen.She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him,"Now here's a knife,Dick.Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister,but remember to do it like a gentleman."

"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked."How do gentlemen do it?"

"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.

"Oh" said Dick.He thought about this for a few seconds.Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half,Catherine.".

迪克年龄七岁,他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁.一天,妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩,自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服.

孩子们玩了个把小时,在四点半的时候,姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房.她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子,并对他说：“喏,迪克,给你刀子,把这块蛋糕一切为二,给你妹妹一块.不过,你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样.”

迪克问：“像一个绅士?绅士怎样做呢?”

他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的.”

迪克说了一声“噢”.他对此想了一会,然后,他把蛋糕拿给妹妹,并对她说：“凯瑟琳,你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧.”

幽默英语笑话带中文四：

Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?"

两个人去猎鹿。第一个人说：“你看见了么?”

"No," the second guy says.

“没有。”第二个人说。

"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says.

“好吧，一只秃鹰刚刚从我们头顶飞过。”第一个人说。

"Oh," says the second guy.

“哦。”

A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?"

几分钟以后，第一个人说：“你看见了么?”

"See what?" the second guy asks.

“看见什么?”第二个人问。

"Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there."

“你瞎了么?一只大黑熊在山上跑呢，就那儿!”

"Oh."

“哦。”

A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"

几分钟后第一个人又说;“你看见了么?”

By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"

这个时候，第二个人已经不耐烦了，所以他说;“是的，我看见啦!”

And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"

第一个人说;“那你还往上踩?”