幽默英语笑话精选集

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Tom is a very old man. After dinner, he likes walking in the street. And he goes to bed at seven o’clock.

汤姆是一位老人，他喜欢在晚饭后到大街上散步，在7点回来睡觉。

But tonight, a car stopped at his house. A policeman helps him get out. He tells Tom’s wife, “The old man couldn’t find his way in the street. He asked me to take him in the car.”

但是，今天晚上一辆小汽车停在他家门前，汤姆在一位警察的帮助下走下汽车。警察告诉汤姆的妻子：“这位老人在街上迷路了，他让我用汽车送他回来。”

After the policeman leaves there, his wife asks, “Tom, you go to the street every night. But tonight you can’t find the way, what’s the matter?”

警察走后：“汤姆，你每天都到那条街上散步，但是今天你迷路了，你怎么了?”

The old man smiles like a child and says, “I couldn’t find my way? I didn’t want to walk home.”

这位老人像孩子般的笑道：“我迷路了?我是不想走路回家。”

A man went to the doctor and explained, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."

一个人跑到医生那里，说：“医生，我碰哪儿，哪儿疼。”

The doctor asked, "What do you mean?"

医生问，“什么意思?”

The man said, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, the pain is excruciating."

那个人说：“我摸我的肩膀的时候，真的很疼。摸膝盖的时候——哎呀!摸我的前额，真的是钻心的疼。”

The doctor said, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"

医生说：“我知道是什么问题了——你的手指受伤了。”

Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said. 在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。