越看越好看的英语笑话

导语：你知道学些笑话的好处么?当第一次见面的时候，总是有不知道该说什么的尴尬，这时候你就需要一些笑话，来缓解一下气氛呢，这里小编为你收集整理了越看越好看的英语笑话，希望能对你有所帮助哈!

1、 "Caller: ""I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?""."

2、 "A young man went shopping. He bought a small can of corn, a small can of tuna(金枪鱼), a small jar of mayo(蛋黄酱), a small lemon and a very small box of teabags. When he came to the counter the girl at the cashregister smiled at him and said; ""Dearest, You must be single.""

......"

3、 "A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Coming up beside her, he said, ""Pull over!""

""No,"" she replied, ""a pair of socks!"""

4、 "A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed. The judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.

The carpenter replied ""twenty seven feet, six and one half inches"".

""What? How come you are so sure of that distance?"", asked the judge.

......"

5、 The soldier was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.

......

6、 "Teacher had set his class an essay in ""A Game of Cricket"". After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home. His essay read: ""Rain stopped play."""

7、 "Young Lady: "" Your novel has a charming ending.""

Author: "" What do you think of the opening chapters?""

Young Lady: "" I have not got to them yet!""Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Brack, ""Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream.""

""Why did it make you late?"" inquired the teacher.

......"

8、 "Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?

Tom: Men.

Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?

Tom: Twins."

9、 "A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.

Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying ""A dollar per point.""

......"

10、 "Farmer Jones picked a big red apple and handed it to the boy saying, ""Watch out for worms.""

""When I eat apples,"" replied the boy, ""the worms have to watch out for themselves."