英语笑话

幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古，听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜，拍掌叫好!下面是美文故事小编整理的英语小笑话：蘑菇与毒蕈，希望对大家有帮助。

Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool?

Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.

笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古，听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜，拍掌叫好!下面是美文故事小编整理的英语小笑话:轻率的插话，希望对大家有帮助。

先看趣味成人笑话，欢迎查看美文故事网笑话栏目，更多爆笑笑话，冷笑话等着你哦!

"Why is it that three of our four children have black hair but little Jim is a blond? Whose child is Jim?"

"I can't tell you the truth," said his wife after a long pause. "it would hurt you too much."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous," he insisted. "I don't mind who the father is. I'm just curious."

The wife ffinally confessed. "Well, if you really want to know, Jim is your child."

"为什么我们四个孩子中，三个是黑头发，而小吉姆却是金色头发?吉姆是谁的孩子?"

“我不能告诉你，”他妻子停了许久才说，“那会伤害你太深。”

　笑话是什么？它是能引人发笑的谈话或故事；供人当做笑料的事情,这是词典里的意思，下面美文故事小编就为大家带来英语冷笑话4则精选，欢迎浏览。

(1)

Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?

Tom: Men.

Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?

Tom: Twins.

老师：汤姆，‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?

汤姆：男人们。

老师：答得好。那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?

汤姆：双胞胎。

(2)

Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.

Teacher: I don't see any bandages.

幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古，听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜，拍掌叫好!下面是美文故事小编整理的英语小笑话，希望对大家有帮助。

After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.

我的朋友们在繁忙的纽瓦克机场着陆后，他们却不能招呼到脚夫来帮他们搬行李。无奈，丈夫拿出一张五美元的钞票在人群上面摇晃。

In an instant, a skycap was at his side. "Sir," observed the porter, " you certainly have excellent communication skills.

一个带宽边帽的人马上来到他身边。“先生，”脚夫说道，“很明显你有绝妙的交际技巧。”

　笑话对于我们每个人来说是最熟悉的东西了，也是人们经常说的，尤其是学生经常在一起讲笑话。那么今天美文故事小编就为大家带来最新英语幽默笑话集锦，供大家参考借鉴。

Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.

I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.

But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.

How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.

Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!

幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古，听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜，拍掌叫好!下面是小编整理的英语小笑话3则，欢迎大家阅读欣赏。

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm1) a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor2) in his voice，“Mommy，will you sleep with me tonight ?”The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring3) hug. “I can' t，dear.” She said.“I have to sleep in Daddy's room.”Along silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice：“The big sissy4).”

珠宝首饰都是女人们的最爱，Valentine's Day或者什么纪念日都是索要礼物不错的时机。这里的女主角却在情人节收到了一份非常特别的礼物，一起跟随美文故事小编来看一下是怎么回事。

One night just before Valentine's Day a woman had a lovely dream about a beautiful necklace.

When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it could mean?"

"You'll find out on Valentine's Day." he said with a knowing smile.

On Valentine's Day, the man gave his delighted wife a beautifully wrapped package.

Excitedly, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".

虽然有些冷笑话挺好玩，但无论怎样，这种笑话听了也不会像那些听“正常”笑话后一样开怀大笑，在美文故事网你可以一边看笑话一边学习哦。

The Climate of New Zealand

Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

Teacher: Wrong.

Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?

马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。

老师：错了。

马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。

My Sister's Fingers

Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.

Teacher: I don't see any bandages.

留学生初到国外，总是或多或少会把“Chinglish”带出国门。那些不地道的破烂英语差点没让老外们崩溃。同学们都闹出过怎样的笑话?下面美文故事小编不妨道来大家听听，顺便得个教训长个见识。

留学前，我觉得自己英文还行，甚至讲起英语来还有口头禅，总爱模仿美剧中老美的口音，说话前先来句“You Know…”作为开场白。当时感觉，这样开始对话会产生些许亲近感，能马上跟对方套上近乎。

我们有一门考试是要跟导师面对面坐下交谈的。因为平时上课时我提问比较多，暗自感觉她应该蛮喜欢我。而且我接触到的美国人普遍给人感觉都是挺容易相处的， 所以即使是老师，大家面对面时也能像朋友般。考试的时候，我也想借此营造一种轻松和平等的对话氛围。记得我当时被问及的题目是“你如何看待嘉年华这种形式”。我习惯性地脱口而出：“You know, I haven’t had any carnival before, but…”