英语笑话

导语：经常讲一些笑话，不仅能给自己带来快乐，还能感染他人，这里小编收集整理了机智幽默的英语笑话，一起来看看吧!

1 One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm1) a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor2) in his voice，“Mommy，will you sleep with me tonight ?”The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring3) hug. “I can' t，dear.” She said.“I have to sleep in Daddy's room.”Along silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice：“The big sissy4).”

一个夏季的晚上，雷雨大作，母亲让小男孩上床钻进被窝。她正准备熄灯，孩子声音颤抖地问：“妈咪，你今晚可以陪我睡吗?”母亲笑着，拥抱一下小孩安慰说，“亲爱的，不可以。我得睡在爸爸的房间。”一阵长长的沉默之后，男孩小声地用颤音说：“大胆小鬼。”

导语：爱笑的人，运气总不会太差，那么你喜欢笑么?这里小编收集整理了快乐爆笑英语笑话，一起来看看吧!说不定能点中你的笑穴哦!

1 The Preacher Buys a Parrot

传教士买鹦鹉

A preacher is buying a parrot.

一个传教士在买鹦鹉。

"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.

“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。

"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.

“噢，绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主向他保证。

"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."

导语：你知道学些笑话的好处么?当第一次见面的时候，总是有不知道该说什么的尴尬，这时候你就需要一些笑话，来缓解一下气氛呢，这里小编为你收集整理了精彩爆笑英语笑话，希望能对你有所帮助哈!

她是不是很魁梧啊?

Big-bone看字面解释就知道是指骨架很粗大。这对美女(美国的女人) 来说是见怪不怪的。在电影Something about Mary中就有这一句，Is she big-boned?

那娇小的女子怎么说? 娇小就是petite。很多从亚洲来女生来美国都抱怨买不到合适的衣服，其实很多店都有一区petite。去那里找找， 保证你会有意想不到的收获。若是真的找不到，就试试teenager那儿也有许多合适的衣服。

我们这里闹女人荒。

导语：笑话来源于生活，却又可以让我们的生多些欢乐、开心，现在，美文故事小编为大家整理了欢乐无限的英语笑话，一起来开心爆笑下。

1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically1 impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.Irritated, the teacher reiterated2 that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

Nearing the end, Stanislaw is surrounded by loved ones. As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, "I must tell you my greatest secret." His family urges him to go on.

临死之前，Stanislaw被他挚爱的家人包围着。知道自己的最后时刻就要来了，他拿出所有力气，轻声耳语，“我必须告诉你们一个最大的秘密。”他的家人催他赶紧说。

导语：会讲笑话的人都是有好人缘的人，所以我们要多亲近一些笑话大王们。现在小编也来当笑话大王啦!美文故事小编给大家收集整理了无厘头的英语笑话，一起来笑笑，收集好人缘吧!

1、 "A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.

It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.

......"

导语;美文故事小编为大家整理了笑破肚子的英语小笑话,希望大家能展颜一笑,更多内容尽在美文故事网笑话栏目。

Mom: "Which banana do you want, Victor?"

Victor: "I want that one of the greatest."

Mom: "Victor, you should be polite, to have that little one."

Victor: "Mom, I must lie to be polite?"

妈妈：“你要哪一只香蕉，维克多?”

维克多：“我要那只最大的。”

妈妈：“维克多，你应该懂礼貌，要那只小的。”

维克多：“妈妈，难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗?”

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

导语：爱笑的人，运气总不会太差，那么你喜欢笑么?这里小编收集整理了逗你一笑的英语笑话，一起来看看吧!说不定能点中你的笑穴哦!

1、father: oh, jack, you have slept away the whole morning. don't you know you are wasting time?

父亲：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗?

jack: yes, dad. but i've saved you a meal, haven' i?

杰克：我知道，爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢，是不是?

2、a little boy asked his father, "daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

一个小男孩问他的父亲，“爸爸，要花多少钱才能结婚呢?”

and the father replied, "i don't know, son, i'm still paying."

“我也不知道，我现在还在交钱。”父亲回答。

导语：会讲笑话的人都是有好人缘的人，所以我们要多亲近一些笑话大王们。现在小编也来当笑话大王啦!美文故事小编给大家收集整理了笑到你肚子疼的英语笑话，一起来笑笑，收集好人缘吧!

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.

"May I speak to your parents? "

"They're busy. "

"Oh. Is anybody else there? "

"The police. "

"Can I speak to them?"

"They're busy. "

"Oh. Is anybody else there? "

"The firemen. "

"Can I speak to them? "

"They're busy. "

导语：有笑话，大家一起笑，这就是分享快乐，也许，快乐就是这么简単。下面美文故事小编为你带来让你笑抽的英语笑话，希望你会喜欢!