英语笑话

幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。以下是小编为大家准备的英语笑话很幽默，一起来爆笑吧!

英语笑话很幽默(一)

Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box." Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."

丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。”朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办?”丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”

幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。今天我们就一起来看看爆笑英语笑话合集吧!

爆笑英语笑话合集(一)

The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours, then he started again, and said he: "Let me ask the evolutionist a question -- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"

"I'll venture an answer," said an old lady, "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".

教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了?”

“我来试试看，”一位老太太说， “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。”

看英语笑话，既能让我们爆笑，也能让我们学到知识，何乐而不为呢?今天我们就一起来看看超经典的英语笑话吧!

超经典的英语笑话(一)

Talking clock

会说话的钟

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"

"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"

一个人的聪明才智会在幽默的谈吐中闪光，并且会深深吸引他人。下面，小编给大家收集整理了小学生开心一刻英语笑话，增加幽默细胞，聪明的你一定会成为闪光点。

小学生开心一刻英语笑话【1】

A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.

Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"

一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼，看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后关上，有几个灯在闪亮。一会儿，门开了，电梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。

英语笑话你听过吗?它也是很好笑的哦，以下是小编为大家准备的最新简短英语笑话合集，一起来爆笑吧!

最新简短英语笑话合集(一)

I can't cook it

It's sunny day in spring. Miss Cat is fishing. Suddenly the fishing rod moves. "Great! Oh, it's so heavy!" Miss Cat says happily.

The fish is plucked out of the river. "Oh, a big fish! How big the fish is!" She cheers. But she puts the fish into the river and goes on fishing.

At the time Mr. Horse goes by and sees it. "What do you set it free?" He asks. "Because my pot is too small. I can't cook it," Miss Cat says.

我没法煮它

你身边真正的朋友，跟你美丑没多大关系，跟你有钱没钱没多大关系，下面，美文故事小编给大家收集整理了英语幽默笑话乐翻天，一起来学学幽默，收集好人缘吧!

While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . "Mump umn Kmpfhm," was all I heard.

"Drew," I scolded, "no one can understand a word you're saying.

"He says he wants some ketchup," my husband said calmly .A woman sitting nearby leaned over and asked, "How in the world did you understand him?"

"I'm a dentist," my husband explained.

笑一笑，十年少，笑话能愉悦我们的心情，今天小编就准备了疯狂爆笑英语笑话，一起来爆笑吧!

疯狂爆笑英语笑话(一)

Teacher: We all know that heat causes an object to expand and cold causes it to contract. Now, can anyone give me a good example?

John: Well, in the summer the days are long, and in the winter the days are short.

老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子?

约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。

幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。以下是小编为大家带来的精选逗死人英语笑话，一起来爆笑吧!

精选逗死人英语笑话(一)

A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States.

She proudly announced, "Go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."

A redhead said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?"

The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, W."

精选逗死人英语笑话(二)

Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.

Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.

生活需要笑话，笑话能愉悦我们的身心，以下是小编准备的巨逗笑翻天英语笑话，一起来爆笑吧!

巨逗笑翻天英语笑话(一)

英语老师问一个学生，“How are you是什么意思”

学生想how是怎么，you 是你，于是回答“怎么是你?”

老师生气又问另一个同学：“How old are you ?是什么意思?”

这个同学想了想说：“怎么老是你。”

巨逗笑翻天英语笑话(二)

某男，粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是sex。

该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week“。

签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.“

该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?“

男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”

笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古，听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜，拍掌叫好!今天我们就一起来看看幽默搞笑英语笑话集锦吧!

幽默搞笑英语笑话集锦(一)

How do I get the gum out? Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?

怎么把口香糖取出来呢当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢?”