英语笑话
史上最爆笑英语笑话
笑一笑，十年少，生活需要笑话，以下是小编为大家整理的史上最爆笑英语笑话，一起来爆笑吧!
史上最爆笑英语笑话(一)
Friend for Dinner请朋友吃饭Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.
“亲爱的，”丈夫对妻子说：“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。”
What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty,and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal!
“什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的，我很久没有买过东西回来了，所有的碗碟都是脏的，还有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。”
I know all that.
“这些我全都知道。”
Then why did you invite a friend for supper?
“那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?”
笑出腹肌的英语笑话
看英语笑话既可以学到英语知识，也可以开心一笑，何乐而不为呢?今天我们就一起来看看笑出腹肌的英语笑话吧!
笑出腹肌的英语笑话(一)
我有钱了
"How did you make your fortune?"
"I became the partner of a rich man.He had the money and I had the experience."
"How did that help?"
"Now he has the experience and I the money."
“你是怎么计划你的将来的?”
“我变成一个富人的合伙人，他有钱，我有经验。”
“那有什么用?”
“现在他有经验了，我有钱。”
笑出腹肌的英语笑话(二)
两只鸟
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
英语笑话笑翻天
笑一笑，十年少，笑话能愉悦我们的心情，以下是小编准备的英语笑话笑翻天，一起来爆笑吧!
英语笑话笑翻天(一)
come on,guys, we have to grow some meat in this laboratory!
伙计们，加油，我们必须在这个实验室长出一些肉
the main forces behind gm food are the ones who are the most motivated
转基因食物背后的主要力量是这些最积极的
英语笑话带翻译大全笑破你的肚子
笑话大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。小编你挑选了英语笑话带翻译大全笑破你的肚子，希望你会喜欢，一起来欢乐笑笑啊!
英语笑话带翻译大全笑破你的肚子一On a rainy, miserable day, the funeral procession was climbing the steep hill to the cemetery, when suddenly the rear doors of the hearse broke open and the coffin slid out.
一个阴雨、悲惨的日子，有列送葬队伍正沿着陡峭的山路向墓地前进，这时突然间灵车的后门破开，棺材滑出车外。
To the horror of the mourners, the casket hurtled down the hill, scattering motorists and pedestrians. At tremendous speed it leaped onto the sidewalk and barreled into a drugstore. It crashed into the counter and the lid flew open
超好笑英语笑话简短
从笑话中学习英语，轻松自在，让你充满自信、左右逢源。以下是小编为大家准备的超好笑英语笑话简短，一起来爆笑吧!
超好笑英语笑话简短(一)
We're not reducing the prices 我们不会降价At the supermarket near our convent I had filled my cart in a hurry and suddenly had an uneasy feeling that I didn't have enough money to pay for all the goods. In desperation I emptied all the items onto the floor and kneeing down, began to add up the prices.
Just then a young supervisor1 strolled over, bent down and whispered confidentially, "It doesn't matter how hard you pray, sister. We're not reducing the prices."
逗乐英语笑话集锦
笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古，听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜，拍掌叫好!今天我们就一起来看看逗乐英语笑话集锦吧!
逗乐英语笑话集锦(一)
宁愿给你买一件礼物
While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad's birthday.
旅途中，妈妈想起她忘记给爸爸买一件生日礼物。
"That's okay," he said, "The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey."
“没关系”，他说，“我最想要的东西是你的爱、忠贞和温顺”。
Mom pondered that idea and then replied "I'd rather buy you a gift."
妈妈沉思片刻后回答说，“我宁愿给你买一件礼物”。
逗乐英语笑话集锦(二)
There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow.
曾经有只蜗牛，它对自己动作慢的名声感到了厌恶和疲倦。
笑死人不偿命英语笑话
笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古，听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜，拍掌叫好!今天我们就一起来看看笑死人不偿命英语笑话吧!
笑死人不偿命英语笑话(一)
A Forgetful Man 健忘Tom was tired out, and he went to bed as soon as he reached home.
Suddenly it occurred to him that he had planned to do something that evening. As he could not remember what it was, he tossed and turned in his bed for along time.
Finally the thing came to his mind, "My God, the original plan was to go to bed early!" he said depressingly.
汤姆很累，一到家就上床睡觉。
忽然，他想起原来晩上计划做一件事，可他想不起来是什么事，他辗转反侧了很长时间 。
英语笑话段子精选
幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。以下是小编为大家准备的英语笑话段子精选，一起来爆笑吧!
英语笑话段子精选(一)
Mum advice her daughter "if a boy touched ur breast say DON'T n if he touched ur vegi... say STOP IT. 1 week later.the girl told her mum." mum a boy touched my both then i said DON'T STOP IT"
妈妈对女儿说：“如果有人对你非礼，他如果摸你上面你就喊“不要.不要”，他如果摸你下面你就喊“停.停”，过了几天，妈妈问女儿有没有人对你非礼?女儿说有人对她非礼。妈妈说你喊了吗，女儿说喊了。妈妈说你怎么喊的，女儿说：“那天那个人上下同时摸，我就喊“不要停，不要停”!
英语笑话段子精选(二)
"Doctor,"she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me.”
“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。"我想让你坦率地告诉我，我到底得了什么病。"
奇趣英语笑话笑死人
看英语笑话，既能学到英语知识，也能让我们变得开心，何乐而不为呢?以下是小编准备的奇趣英语笑话笑死人，一起来爆笑吧!
奇趣英语笑话笑死人(一)
我要出去A bar owner locked up his place at 2 a. m. and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang." What time do you open up in the morning ?" he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.
在凌晨两点，酒吧店主锁了店门，回家睡觉。他刚躺下几分钟，这时电话响了。“你早上几点营业?”他听到一位明显已醉醺醺的男子的声音。
精选笑不停英语笑话
笑一笑，十年少，笑话可以愉悦我们的心情，以下是小编为大家准备的精选笑不停英语笑话，一起来爆笑吧!
精选笑不停英语笑话(一)
瞎子的判断Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he
stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had thought that it was the first dog, so he said in surprise, It's a wonder that the dog is so long.
从前有个瞎子。一天，他正在行路时踩着了一只正在睡觉的狗的脑袋，狗汪汪汪地叫了一阵。这人又往前走，这回踩着的是另外一只狗的尾巴，狗又汪汪汪地叫起来。瞎子以为还是那条狗，惊诧地说：奇怪，这只狗可真够长的。