英语笑话

美文故事小编收集整理了每天一句爆笑英语笑话，希望你能喜欢，更多笑话请关注美文故事网冷笑话、爆笑笑话，幽默笑话，十万个冷笑话栏目!

eg1: The hotel serves single room, double room and suite.

该酒店有单间、双人间和套房。

eg2: I'd like to reserve a presidential suite.

我要预订一间总统套房。

The delegates need three single rooms and one suite, full board, for five nights.

代表们需要三间单人房和一间套房，包三餐，住五晚。

●Yesterday I asked how to say "办理入住手续" in English? Now I announce the answer: 现在公布答案：check in.

下面这些都是美文故事小编CJ收集的英语笑话，小编半夜两点成功笑抽，均是经典，英语不好的要好好看了，爱笑的童鞋们更要好好看了，千万不要前赴后继、义无反顾的犯同样可笑的错误哦哦~~哈哈╮(╯▽╰)╭

1.有次房东问我did u eat anyting yet? 我说no.(没吃)

她听后重复了一遍so u didn't eat anyting. 我说yes...(吃了)

房东老太太犹豫了下，又问did u eat ?我说no.(没吃)

她接着说so u didn't eat .我说yes ......(吃了)

估计她当时要崩溃了

2.刚上班不久，有个公司的A/R打电话来催支票，我循例问了一下他是哪间公司打来的，那男的很有礼貌的说：“Thisis xxx calling from Beach Brother." 听懂了很开心，不过由于对公司名字还不熟，心想先用笔记下来公司名，省得等下忘记了，正得意忘形之间，顺嘴开始拼写人家公司的名字，还说得一本正经："b.i.t.c.h......bitch, correct?"……那男的终于还是没能忍住怒火，近似于怒吼似的对我喊道："NO!!! B.E.A.C.H.....BEACH!!!!!!"

笑一笑，十年少，下面是由美文故事小编为你精心编辑的一份英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子短的，欢迎阅读!

1.

Boy: Is this seat empty?

Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

男孩：这个座位是空的么?

女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。

2.

My little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不识字

布朗夫人：哦，

亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!

史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!

布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

3.

My Wife Will Exchange Them

下面，就和小编一起来看一看简单英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子，希望对大家有帮助!

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.

三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。

Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.

它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。

The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."

于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“你回家去取伞吧。”

The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."

最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”

"We won't," the other two promised.

“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。

下面，美文故事小编为大家精选了一些经典英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子痛，欢迎大家阅读欣赏。

1

A man went to the doctor and explained, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."

一个人跑到医生那里，说：“医生，我碰哪儿，哪儿疼。”

The doctor asked, "What do you mean?"

医生问，“什么意思?”

The man said, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, the pain is excruciating."

那个人说：“我摸我的肩膀的时候，真的很疼。摸膝盖的时候——哎呀!摸我的前额，真的是钻心的疼。”

The doctor said, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"

医生说：“我知道是什么问题了——你的手指受伤了。”

2

从笑话中学习英语，轻松自在，让你充满自信、左右逢源。今天我们就一起来看看笑翻天英语笑话吧!

笑翻天英语笑话(一)

A teacher said to her class:”Who was the first man?”“George Washington,”a little boy shouted promptly.

“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.“Because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.“Well,”said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”

笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古，听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜，拍掌叫好!以下是小编为大家准备的最新英语笑话超爆笑，一起来爆笑吧!

最新英语笑话超爆笑(一)

One day a little white rabbit went to a bakery and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"

一天有只小白兔来到面包店问：“请问你们有100个小面包吗?”

The shopkeeper answered, "Sorry, we don't have that many."

老板回答：“抱歉我们没有那么多。”

"Oh, that's a pity!" said the rabbit and left, disappointed.

“哦，太遗憾了。”小白兔失望地离开了。

The second day the little white rabbit went to the bakery again and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"

第二天小白兔又来到那个面包店问：“请问你们有100个小面包吗?”

幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。今天我们就一起来看看逗趣英语笑话搞笑吧!

逗趣英语笑话搞笑(一)

A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his testicles are, "Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life," he tells her, by way of poetic concealment.

She tells this to her mother, who replies, "Did he say anything about that dead branch they're hanging on?"

逗趣英语笑话搞笑(二)

A: I have the perfect son.

B: Does he smoke?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: Does he drink whiskey?

A: No, he doesn't.

看一些英语笑话，能让我们在开心的同时学习英语，何乐而不为呢?以下是美文故事笑话栏目准备的囧人经典英语笑话，一起来爆笑吧!

囧人经典英语笑话

We Left NothingMrs Brown was going out for the day. Shelocked the house and tacked a note for the milkmanon the door: "NOBODY HOME. DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING."When she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house ransacked. On the note she had left, she found the following message added:"THANKS! WE HAVEN’T LEFT ANYTHING!"

布朗太太要外出一天。 她锁好了房门，在门上给送牛奶的人钉了一张便条：“家里没人，请不要留下任何东西!” 她当天晚上回家后发现房间门被撞开，房子被洗劫一空。在她留给送奶人的便条上，她发现被补充了一句：“谢谢!我们什么也没留下!”

幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。今天我们就一起来看看精选笑破肚子英语笑话吧!

精选笑破肚子英语笑话(一)

A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.

一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。