英语笑话

会讲笑话的人都是有好人缘的人，所以我们要多亲近一些笑话大王们。现在小编也来当笑话大王啦!小编给大家收集整理了幽默感十足的英语笑话，一起来笑笑，收集好人缘吧!

幽默感十足的英语笑话一

There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win — they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.

以下是小编为大家整理的笑死人的英语笑话段子大全，更多精彩笑话尽在美文故事笑话栏目，欢迎欣赏!

笑死人的英语笑话段子大全(一)

You Are Too Late

On the bus a man discovered a pickpocket's hand thrust into his pocket.

"sorry," he said to the pickpocket, "you are too late. My wife did it before you."

你太晚了

在公共汽车上一人发现一个小偷把手伸到了他的口袋里。

“对不起，”他对小偷说，“你太晚了，我妻子在你之前就做过同样的事情了。”

笑死人的英语笑话段子大全(二)

The Nice Wedding Gift

看英语笑话的时候，我们既能学到英语知识，又能愉悦身心，这是一件多么好的事情，今天我们就一起来看看笑死人英语笑话大全带翻译吧!

笑死人英语笑话大全带翻译(一)

Perfect Match

A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.

Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.

笑话是日常生活中人们消遣娱乐的一种常见语言现象,其目的在于在会话过程中传递和激发幽默感。

四年级英语笑话短文一：How to be like a gentleman

Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman."

笑一笑，十年少，多看一些笑话有助于我们身心健康，今天我们就一起来看看超有趣的英语笑话吧!

超有趣的英语笑话(一)

Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。”“不要相信梦，亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。

看英语笑话的时候，我们不仅可以获得开心，还可以 学习不少英语知识，何乐而不为呢?今天我们就一起来看看可爱搞笑英语笑话吧!

可爱搞笑英语笑话(一)

I am the Only Driver

A short young man was running behind a bus which was full of passengers. But the bus still ran at a great speed.

"Stop, stop, " a passenger looked out of the window, and shouted at the young man, "you can't catch it ! "

"I must," the young fellow said, out of breath, "because I'm only driver of the bus.

我是司机

在一辆满载乘客的公共汽车后面，一位小个子青年在奔跑着。气车仍在高速前进。

“停下吧，”一位乘客把头伸出窗子，对小个子喊道，“你追不上的!”

“我必须追上，”小个子气喘吁吁地说，“我是司机!”

笑一笑十年少，有时候正儿八经的说笑话却觉得不好笑，可是一个很冷的笑话却能让自己笑良久，你有这样的经历么?现在，一起来开心爆笑下吧!

爆逗英语笑话故事一：

真是恩爱的一对

How Sweet!

喔，真是恩爱的一对!

Two women friends were having tea.

两个女人正在喝茶，

Said one to the other,

其中一位对另一位说道：

"I've been trying to reach my lawyer for a week ... "

“我已经花了一个礼拜找我的律师，….。”

"Oh, please don't mention lawyers to me" interrupted the recent widow,

“哦，拜托别再向我提律师的事了，”那位刚死去丈夫的女人插嘴道，

I've had so much trouble settling my husbands estate that I sometimes wish he hadn't died! "

“我在处理我先生遗留的房地产时遭遇到好多麻烦，有时候我真希望他没死就好了。

看多些笑话，有助于让我们放松身心，过得更快乐，今天我们就一起来看看无厘头英语笑话集锦吧!

无厘头英语笑话集锦(一)

Teacher: Tom and John! Why are you late for school today?老师：汤姆!约翰!你俩今天为什么迟到了!

Tom: Madam, I lost a one-dollar coin and was searching for it.汤姆：老师，我一直在找我丢失的一美元硬币。

Teachear: John, what about you?老师：那么你呢，约翰?

John: Madam, I was not able to move beacause I was hiding that coin under my feet.约翰：老师，我不能动啊，我把他的硬币藏脚底下了。

无厘头英语笑话集锦(二)

Teacher: Where does God live?老师：上帝住哪儿?

Student: I think he lives in our bathroom.学生：我想他应该住我家浴室。

Teacher: Why do you say that?老师：为什么这么说?

总是有些时候莫名其妙的不开心，心情不佳的时候就会办什么都不在状态，你会这样么?这里小编收集整理了爆笑英语小笑话带翻译，让你的心情速速好起来。

爆笑英语小笑话带翻译一：A Boy with a Big Head大头娃娃

A boy cried to his mother, "All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head."

"Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes."

"Where is the shopping bag?"

"I haven't got one-use your hat."

一个小男孩向他母亲哭诉道：“他们都取笑我，说我脑袋大。” “别听他们的，”他母亲安慰道，“你有一个很漂亮的脑袋。好啦，别哭了，去商店买十斤土豆来。”

“购物袋在哪儿?”

“没购物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。”

幽默的人不仅仅会说笑话，还要懂得他人说的笑话，来测试一下你的幽默细胞的指数有多高吧!

短篇爆笑英语笑话一

The young boy protested vigorously when his mother asked him to take his little sister along fishing. "The last time she came," he objected, "I didn't catch a single fish."

"I'll talk to her," his mother said, "and I promise this time she won't make any noise."

"It wasn't the noise, Mom," the boy replied, "She ate all my bait."

当妈妈提出让小男孩带着妹妹一起去钓鱼时，他坚决反对。“上次她跟着我，”他反对说，“我连一条鱼都没能钓上。”

“我会告诉她，”妈妈说，“我保证这次她不再发出响声了。”